Things are not as we imagine them. Because in our imagination we do not have all the parameters that exist in the real situation, therefore we cannot reliably recreate the experience. The problem comes when we believe that the imagined situation is equal to the future real situation and we draw conclusions from it. I’m sorry, but human beings are not fortune tellers.
Some people like me twist it even more, and in addition, we consider a task that we have planned for the future as done just by planning it. The disconnect between reality and facts is very powerful. This mistake comes from the confidence of knowing that you can achieve anything with enough training and persistence. Being confident that we are going to achieve it because we only have to follow a series of steps, we accommodate ourselves, we assume that it will come some day in the future (things are not achieved immediately, Rome was not built in a day) and we forget that we have to perform those actions today, not tomorrow.
The one man band, wanting to do everything yourself and the weight of responsibility
Sometimes we have no choice, as it happens to me, but pretending to do everything yourself is the fastest and most direct way to burn-out, stress and blocks. Some of us like to load ourselves with responsibilities and fill the spoon more than we can swallow, because we suffer from overconfidence in ourselves. Confidence that later does not materialize because stress makes us paralyze. Although sometimes we have no other choice…
The solution: small and poorly taken steps
Seriously, I’ll explain later.
First an example. I can’t draw. But I want to know. It’s very important for me. It’s something I love. But if I try to draw, something horrible comes out (I don’t show you any of my drawings so you don’t have nightmares). That leads me not to try again because I can’t draw well. But is that logic correct? If I never practice, I will never draw well. That is, to get to draw well one day I have to draw badly many times every day.
And that is the key to everything in life. If something is difficult for you, if it doesn’t come out, if you don’t see how to do it, if you’re sure you’re not capable, or if nothing comes to mind and you’re blank. What happens is that you lack training. You just don’t have the habit. It’s like when a wimp signs up for the gym for the first time and finds out that he can’t lift weights. Well of course! Until you have been training for months or even years, you will not be able to. Same thing with everything in life.
The demon of perfectionism
It will haunt you over and over again. No matter how well you know it exists, you won’t be able to get rid of it. Maybe with a lot of practice… but that’s what he won’t let you do. He doesn’t want you to train because every time you do it he won’t be able to stand how bad you’ve done. He’ll even yell at you that you’re not going to be able to do it right before you even start. And you will believe it over and over again.
Remember that every exercise you do is going to go wrong and that’s how it should be. Don’t look for it to go wrong, you try to do your best but without giving importance if it goes wrong later. Most of the time you will be surprised that it has turned out much better than you expected. And that’s when you start to get good.